I am a dreamer, to a fault. Since childhood, I have told myself that something totally awesome was going to happen in my life. I have had good times and not so good times. I think even when I have felt like throwing in the towel, there was still a spark of hope somewhere down deep inside.
Trust me; I have had my fair share of failures. I get myself amped up when I think I have a good idea. Sometimes I step out on a limb. One that is way outside of my comfort zone. All of the major times that I have tried to fly so far, have earned me a good face plant.
Sometimes I get so afraid of life, that I would compare myself to a little yip dog. If someone walks into the same room as me and say, blinks on a bad day; I feel like I am about to leave a mess on the floor. On a flip side, I try to tell myself that that is how passionate I am. I mean, I have to live with myself.
This is a story of a not so good idea I may have had. I hope you get a smile out of it, and don’t take yourself or life so seriously for a moment.
I have been searching for a career with purpose. I was trying to build on what experience and education I do have. See, we only have one life. If I give all that I have, I want to be treated like more than a number. I really don’t want to wake up every day to an alarm clock that screams self destruct. I don’t like pulling into a job, that within five minutes of arrival; I start to look for my emergency cyanide pill (SARCASM).
The Craigslist Resume section was a recent discovery of mine. I had never noticed this before. Without posting an actual resume, I decided to use Craigslist to post a free ad. I was hoping to provoke a valid inquiry. I wanted to use humor. Sometimes, I am a comedian in my own mind. This is the actual ad that I posted:
I am desperately seeking a career. Yes, I said it, desperately. My niche is something that has evaded me like a white unicorn.
Allow me to share a little bit about myself:
I am extremely passionate and believe if you are going to do something, you need to do it right.
I am flexible. Overtime doesn’t kill anyone. As hard as I try though, please remember that I am not a robot.
I am ready to sell a kidney bean if it means I will belong to something great.
I stealthily nosedive into office foliage in order to avoid water cooler gossip.
I will gladly provide a limited edition of “Abstract Career Land of Unicorn and Backwards Pickle Face” or “Twisted Career Dreams: The Puppy Taster, Pizza Cuddler and Ice Cream Critic” in exchange for a face-to-face interview.
In a Nutshell:
I will give you 100%. Will you do the same for me?
I dream of a career. One that compensates fairly, because I will give you everything that I’ve got.
If you have an immediate opening for Ice Cream Taster, Pizza Critic, or Puppy Cuddler, please respond ASAP. If you have another challenge for me, I am ready to utilize my current skills or take on a new career path.
I have word processing, clerical, customer service and other miscellaneous office admin skills. I am not interested in marketing. If you have a serious interest, I will send you my resume.
Thank you for your time. Have a wonderful day!
I illustrated it with two of my drawings
In the original ad, I also had a Ewes section. I had asked if a boss would pop a vein if a pickle was on backwards, not to inquire. I also stated that if I called in late, once over a 6 month period, it was unlikely that I was partying at my minimum wage beach house. I decided that was a little too cocky/wordy after I had drawn this picture and omitted that text.
And this one:
I didn’t even get much spam…
I got two offers for marketing…
One offer from word of mouth. That is another story.
Moral of the Story
So, if you are taking life too seriously. If you are taking yourself too seriously. Try to laugh it off. Get up and try again. I do.