The Church Wouldn’t Have Me: Part I

A Little History

So I have a confession. I am a PK. Pastor’s kid. That doesn’t mean that I have ever fit in very well with religious circles. I think my name means “awkward one” in Romulan.

Oh, you are a pk, so you …

Oh Snap!

How very original. I love you…

I think we are given a bad rap, for wanting to search and learn and possibly even think for ourselves. To find our own way. Our own path. We have to, as we live with ourselves.

In my case, some of the stereotypes could be based off of fact. Just me, anyways. I cannot speak for everyone. I am definitely guilty of doing things that would make my parents blush.

Black Sheep

I was a black sheep from the start. Way before all of the ornery, that I had lurking up my sleeves.  I had problem written all over my face.  First off, If I wasn’t a baddy; I wouldn’t have been born with an issue. One that made me different than most people I met. One that required money and medical attention.

When I was growing up, we moved A LOT. I won’t say how many times. I went to three different high schools if that gives you an idea. I had trouble fitting in. Whenever I thought I was setting a foundation and making new friends, we up and moved again. I had to start over. What may have been socially acceptable in one school on the east coast, wasn’t in another school elsewhere.  This may have helped me to make an art form out of being awkward. I also learned there is great diversity in the United States. Now, I wouldn’t trade that for anything.


I definitely acted out. Sometimes I did, because I felt backed into a wall. I had a problem practicing couth. In one small school we moved to, it earned me a ticket in front of the school board and out the front door permanently.

I almost got the same one way ticket at the next school district. I was greeted by the principal, and asked if I was a part of the circus. My hair and attire might have been a little unique to say the least. When I felt put on the spot like this; I felt that it was my duty to speak loudly and clearly, while listing off every curse word that I thought described him properly.

I felt like they were in the wrong, and I was dropping the hammer of justice on them.

After a heavy apology from my parents, I was given the opportunity to eat crow to the principal in order to go back to school. The strange thing about the apology was that my ears folded back, just like a cat when I was talking. I must have had the most lemon puckered face the principal had ever seen. I am almost positive that I tried to shoot death lasers at him from my eyes.


Confession #2

At one part of my life, I hated Christians passionately. I blamed them. There are really high standards and expectations set. So for me, it was easy to point the finger. I had an inside scoop. You know what I have found? Despite religious beliefs in life, people will disappoint us. If any person in the world lived above every single thread of hypocrisy, not only would they be perfect, but the world would probably be a lot nicer. I think that is one reason why love is so important.


What haven’t I done wrong? Thankfully, I haven’t crossed any lines that have landed me in a cage. Sometimes, when I made really poor choices; I just got lucky. I have battled with addictions. I wanted to escape. It did not change my life in a good way. It NEVER fixed a problem. I wouldn’t recommend it.

If worrying (fear) is a sin, then I probably sin every 5 minutes or so. What shall I do if I find myself smashed by a random large rock? BURN! Just Kidding. I would like to think that if there was an Eternal being, They are way more pro on grace and love than we are.

To be continued…


2 responses to “The Church Wouldn’t Have Me: Part I

  1. I’m a PW. People are always telling me I don’t seem like a PW or they forget I’m a PW b/c I don’t act like one. I’m not sure it’s a compliment but I’ll put a good spin on it. My husband was an atheist when I met him so I didn’t anticipate being a PW. I don’t understand what the color of your hair had to do with learning, I enjoy your blog and pray my children find their own way- unique,creative paths – as long as we end up at the same awesome place.

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