Window Units for Dummies

Can I borrow it? A copy of that book?

Kids, don’t try this at home. Really.

Have you ever done anything really dumb?

Seriously embarrassing?

Something that made you wish passionately for an invisibility cloak?

Your eye squeeze and face palm reflexes both respond immediately?

Well that was me yesterday. My fiancé and I, that is.

I live in an apartment. It is an upstairs unit. It is VERY. H.O.T!

After finally getting an a/c unit, my fiancé and I go to install it. Two heads are better than one, right? BAH!

SOMEONE goes to adjust it so hot air doesn’t get in. Do you want to know what happens when there is something very heavy in a window, it is almost completely outside, and the only thing supporting it needs “adjusted”? It plummets to its death in slow motion, that is what.

Where have All the Right Angles Gone?

The right angles have gone away. The important ones. When I saw my new comfort falling to its obvious demise, it frowned at me. My spirit grieved deeply. My stomach detached itself and fell to the floor. To add insult to injury, the unit’s cord whipped back while a thundering voice proclaimed, “You shall not pass!” My fiancé reacted with more agility than myself, and did his best slam dunk impersonation.

Very depressing.

He was angrier than I was. He ran downstairs before I could engage ANY emotions towards him. Then I released a giggle reserved only for that private moment.

I realized that if anyone saw that in passing while having a bad day, they would be forced to start having an awesome day at that exact moment. They may have laughed when they saw a large appliance falling from the sky into a bush. No one died. Oh thank you God. Seriously. Face palm again.

Gravity is one nasty…

Don’t even look at me like you’ve never been introduced to stupid (done something regrettable)…

Update: After a tedious surgery, the unit was salvageable. YES!

Didn’t See this One in Sunday School

It says Bones In the Bible!

Ezekiel 37:7-10

So I prophesied as I was commanded; and as I prophesied, there was a [thundering] noise and behold, a shaking and trembling and a rattling, and the bones came together, bone to its bone.

And I looked and behold, there were sinews upon [the bones] and flesh came upon them and skin covered them over, but there was no breath or spirit in them.

Then said He to me, Prophesy to the breath and spirit, son of man, and say to the breath and spirit, Thus says the Lord God: Come from the four winds, O breath and spirit, and breathe upon these slain that they may live.

10 So I prophesied as He commanded me, and the breath and spirit came into [the bones], and they lived and stood up upon their feet, an exceedingly great host.

*Cue Michael Jackson Thriller Dance*

So they might have looked a little different and not had these awesome dance moves…

I mean no disrespect to the Jackson Family

God Doesn’t Need Perfect

And boy oh boy, am I glad about that. Really. Despite popular belief, His kingdom is not an elite club reserved only for the perfect humans. If it was, I am sure there are more out there like myself that would be permanently uninvited…

Everyone.

In my personal life, I believe I have seen a heart of Love from Him. It welcomed me. Even when some church folk wouldn’t. Even through some of the darkest and dirtiest times of my life, when I had felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone. Places that God wasn’t supposed to be. Places He wasn’t supposed to see. Places that would have made religious folks squirm. That is one reason that I could get up and try again. Even when I was on the floor and I felt the people I encountered only seemed to notice that part. I think God sees something more.

Inspiration

God meets people where they are, real life and real people. The “heroes” and “heroines” in the bible had real problems. Their lives weren’t perfect. They weren’t perfect. No one is, you know? That is why I think an attitude of LOVE is so profoundly important, towards Every. Single. Person. Regardless of who they are, where they have been, where it appears they are currently and their personal beliefs. I don’t think there is a whole lot out there that surprises God.

If we were all honest with ourselves, we all have weaknesses. We all have faults. I don’t think a moral smack down on others shortcomings or faults can help them get up. I don’t think harsh criticism is synonymous to spiritual miracle grow. I think we should try to use our strengths to help and love others. To be a positive influence.

See, when I find myself reading, I cannot help but think that John 3:16-17 and 2 Corinthians 5:18-21 really mean the world. So who is disqualified? We don’t have the power to qualify or disqualify anyone from something that God gave them, for any reason. Why so serious?

If you have ever been around church circles like me (preacher’s kid), then you have probably heard this before. I have heard it a handful of times and it circulates quite a bit. This has always encouraged me. I pulled some of these examples from here.

Superheroes Need not Apply

Adam and Eve bumped up on the first try 

Abel’s brother hated him

Moses possibly had a speech impediment    

Gideon lived in fear and worry

Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal

Esther was an orphan

Joseph was abused by his family

Jonah ran from God

Ruth was a widow

Leah was considered ugly (not valuable by a warped gauge)

Noah got drunk and people thought he was nuts

Tamar was raped, told to keep her mouth shut and cast aside by her own family

Paul was a murderer
So was Moses
So was David

Abraham was too old
David was too young

Jacob was a liar
David had an affair
Solomon was too rich

Elijah encountered a widow that was too poor

Sampson had long hair

Peter was aggressive

Miriam was a gossip

Rahab was a prostitute

Some of the most successful people alive right now, have had innumerable failures or have faced extreme opposition. They just keep getting up and trying. So I say, don’t give up. The hand that you started out with doesn’t matter. What you have been through. Mistakes that you have made. How others may have wrongly drawn conclusions about you. How others have mistreated you. Some have it better than others. Some have it worse than others. There is someone out there with skin that knows how you feel.

Let’s try to love harder IMO. We don’t have to be rich or even have a prestigious title to make that kind of a difference.

Disclaimer: I do not condone some of the actions mentioned above. I am confident in the fact that I am not the Judge. I understand that people pay a price for breaking the law. Anger happens too. Ephesians 4:26. Talking about real life here people. Just a thought…

The Sweetest Things in Life

Pure Joy.

So I may have found my calling. I have been searching for a purpose, or my niche. It is a driving force for me. I do NOT like trying to convince people to give me their money for mediocre products. Products that people have absolutely no need for. I do not like being trapped in a cubicle jungle where money is #1.

My current job involves patients that stick around for a while. I am literally on the bottom of the importance hierarchy. My daily dialog includes asking patients if they would like more coffee. I don’t keep up with the Joneses. My opinions in life may not be considered all that valuable to anyone.

I once heard a wise server say… cough

We had searched long and hard for a wise server…

I realize that when I see the patients, it is quite possibly the highlight of their day. I love them. I want to serve them to the best of my ability. If nothing else, make them smile. I’ve been told not to get attached, but it’s too late.

The other day, I was in the back doing my worker bee duties. I caught a patient staring at me. I am very fond of the patient. When they saw that I had seen them, I started dancing around wildly like a child. I was completely uninhibited. I did not dance like a cool person. I did not dance like someone with all of their marbles. I was not sexy, and I knew it.

Shake it but don’t break it!

They started laughing so hard that they had blushed. I was concerned for their health for a second. I went to them and asked if they were okay. They wanted to know what I was doing. I told them I was tap dancing. I have absolutely no official training in tap dancing. They said it was a shame after all of the years of practice, and then laughed harder. They wanted to know when I got off. I had no Idea what I was starting.

When I got off, there was a small crowd waiting for me. They asked me to “tap dance”. I did. The room erupted into sincere cackles. I saw more teeth, than I had dreamed of seeing that day.

The next day when I got off, the crowd was larger. One patient felt so inspired they stood up, boogied, and exclaimed, “Shake it, but don’t break it!” They told some of my colleagues with more stature than me, that I was going to teach them to tap dance. Oh noez!

I wait to see what happens next…

Terrible Day

A Bad Day

I worry too much. Really I do. I try not to. You have to be extremely proactive not to worry, especially if you dissect everything around you moment by moment. I strive to grow, but I am so envious of people that don’t let things bother them. I also think worrying is a sin. I sin all day long then. Save me Jesus!

My Job

Out of respect for my coworkers, I really don’t want to divulge too much about my job. I would probably be annoyed if I found out someone that I worked with did a narrative of me. I am curious though, why do some people always feel the need to put others down? Like a bully? I really don’t get it. I don’t like to fight for the most part. I have my moments. I don’t feel that I go around looking for a fight, or provoking it though. I don’t want to say something out of anger and hurt them back. Man I hate the whole fine line of not being a doormat, but also not fighting.

They talk to you like you have the competency of a toddler, when you are doing everything right. I really don’t get it. Especially when you work your butt off, you don’t mess around, and your superior is pleased with your output. I have not taken it upon myself, to grace a coworker with my impromptu assessment. It is times like these where I zone them out, we all become cartoons, and a run away bus halts their incessant ramblings. You know, then they get up all cartoon like, after the 12 foot punt? But Then,!?@$% I look up and they are still there with a smirk…

I get home and ugh… that is all. That is all. Yes, that is all.

I could probably use a good stress reliever right now…

Punching bag…

Voice box stress test…

Jesus water…

Sometimes people are so skilled at apathy their response would be…

It is your fault… In so many words or less.

That is all.

Faulty.

Awesome.

Thanks for the help.

You don’t happen to be a punching bag do you?

This is where I am glad that God is God. No really. Sometimes He appears scary. Maybe because like others, I sometimes deflect silly personal let downs on Him. Even though, He is the Father of spirits. A whole different ballpark Father. I doubt everyone sees Him exactly the same way. The thing is, when most people confirm to me why I am not good enough, I feel like I am A-OKAY in His book. Like, He really doesn’t leave me. Like as long as I get up and try some more, He will still help. You know, like a good Father? How do I not go insane you ask? What?! I am not insane…shakes fist

I think on these things…

Love and Family

Romans 8:38
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.
Nothing…

Luke 11:11-13
11 “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for[f] a fish, will give him a snake instead? 12 Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? 13 If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
Better than the best earthly Father…

Psalms 139:17-18
17 How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

Luke 12:7
Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Isaiah 49:16
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.

Jeremiah 29:11
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isaiah 43:1-2
43 But now,thus says the Lord, He Who created you, O Jacob, and He Who formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you;I have called you by your name; you are Mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.

1 Corinthians 2:9
9 However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[a]—
the things God has prepared for those who love him

1 John 3:1
3 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.

Ephesians 3:18-19
18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge —that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Confidence

Phillipians 1:6
6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:2
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Colossians 2:16
Therefore do not let anyone judge you by what you eat or drink, or with regard to a religious festival, a New Moon celebration or a Sabbath day.

Mark 9:24 

24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

He can meet us where we are…

Luke 1:37
“For nothing will be impossible with God.”

Mark 9:23
“What do you mean, ‘If I can’?” Jesus asked. “Anything is possible if a person believes.”

John 3:17
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

2 Corinthians 5:18
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation:

Peace

Phillipians 4:7
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

2 Corinthians 13:11
Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.

Wait, When Did the Bible Come Out?

The Bible

Me likes. It fascinates me. It is like a puzzle. It is full of rich history. I do believe that it is the word of God. I understand that the physical Christian Bible hasn’t been around forever. I understand that it has been edited several times, while filtered through different languages. Books have been added and omitted. Some words do not accurately address humankind. It takes place in different times, political climates and cultures. I don’t understand everything about it. It is mysterious to me.

Why You Look at Me Sideways Man!?

My search isn’t for ammunition, just understanding. Religious debates give me ulcers… Sometimes I feel like if you ask someone the wrong question, they look at you sideways. Want to see me get really weird? Put me in the middle of a heated religious debate. Heated and hateful that is. I don’t really think it’s wrong to ask questions. I don’t have all the answers. I am still searching for the golden scripture that makes my life instantaneously perfect, in addition to the fountain of youth…

What do you say?

Sometimes when I ask God questions, I wonder if I am like a child asking about the color of the sky. Like I want answers, but am not yet at a place to really comprehend the answer. I just don’t think my cognition can compete with that of an eternal being.

I am curious about hell. I see references to a place of darkness and also a place of fire. I sometimes wonder how God feels about religion. I mean, He wasn’t a Catholic. He wasn’t a Christian. Sometimes I wonder if it is more important to love others, or to be “right”. I see a lot about love and peace. I saw Jesus as someone that loved and gave, unto death.

He had His spitfire moments. I don’t think they were to make people want to go off themselves. I think sometimes they were to provoke thought. Like, He called people out that misrepresented his Father. He called people out that pushed religious law. A law no one can keep in its entirety. Sometimes I noticed when He called people out, it said they tempted Him, or like they wanted to trip Him up. They were trying to start trouble and He wasn’t having it. Lolz

Turn The Other Cheek Now! Or Else!!!

What else was He supposed to do? Turn the other cheek?

See, I think sometimes people read a scripture and go off into orbit. I know I have before. I don’t claim to know everything myself. It’s a learning experience, life is. I just know if someone tried to mug me, and told me to turn the other cheek, well they would have another thing coming.

No moderation. Like, if I did everything nowadays that others wanted me to, I would be a doormat, plain and simple. I would not be allowed to have an opinion, because my life isn’t perfect. Only perfect people have opinions dontchaknow? Ridiculous huh? What about all the different expectations on people that are supposed to believe in God?

Bob: Aren’t you supposed to be praying now ma’am?

Me: I did earlier, Thank You. It is also lunch time now, if that is alright with you?

No, no, no…

 

Go and Sin No More

Did Jesus really say that? If He did, it was after he gave. It was after he changed someone’s life profoundly. I don’t see where after the fact, he got into this long uncomfortable dialect about…

The correct denomination

Acting religious ASAP

Hoops to jump through

Unworthiness to the Father’s Love

How disgusting He thought someone was

Looks like He reached out and addressed each need, as he deemed appropriate.

Stretch out your hand…

I Just Wonder…

If you have done more studying, please share. I am not a historian. Sometimes I wish I could just sit down with people more experienced and pick their brains. They could share what they did and didn’t know. Not “just because”, I mean from actual study or experience. I am definitely up to learn more. I am curious about a lot.

I wonder if Adam and Eve had a marriage ceremony. I wonder if her gown was beautiful, flowing and white. All proper like. Er, did they get married like us back in the day? Wait a minute… Can God honor marriages if they aren’t American? What if someone took a wife? I saw where people did that. What is a take marriage?

 

Try to take me from my home, and get a knuckle sandwich breh…

I wonder how many culturally relevant things today; make an eternal being lose sleep. I wonder if we get stuck on things that keep us spinning in circles, and then we forget about what is supposed to be important? I am serious. I want to know.

The Never-Ending Search

Something Life Crisis?

My niche has evaded me again and again. It is so frustrating; I am liable to smash it on the floor once I catch it.

 

Idea?!?!?!

My dreamy tendencies don’t help much. I get an idea and start to float away. Sometimes this sets me up for disappointment. One Idea I had, was this ad on craigslist, while I was job hunting. I was hoping maybe someone would give me a shot. Maybe they had done things like me on their own journey. I joked with my fiancé, that this would be my big break. I have tried my hand at different careers. I had worked on a degree that mutated frequently. Maybe this is how I validate myself? Maybe I was dreaming of a life, where I felt like more than a number. I did not anticipate the result of this idea.

 

Boo…

I teased my fiancé that I would be an ice cream taster. Or, that I would have the privilege of cuddling puppies. I told him that he would stop laughing, when George Lucas called with an offer. Silly, huh? Don’t tell anyone…

Awz…

The responses that I got were not what I had expected. Guess I daydream a little too much. Someone lovely in my life passed the ad along to a friend. He was a business owner. It was purely word of mouth. He did not see it on his own search. This pass-along, did however earn me an interview. It was for a morgue transport position.

SAY WHAT?@!

I went with it. This was a gracious offer and opportunity. I thought that this was something with purpose.

Reality Check

The interview was an actual drop off. To see if this was something that I could handle. It. Was. Not. It was something tragic. I got smacked in the face with the reality of death. Of Life. Of purpose. Of dumb things that people get stuck on. Dumb things that won’t matter in 300 years. Maybe I had been desensitized to a degree? Maybe I haven’t experienced it as much as others have? It was a little bit rawer than I had expected. It forced me to have an attitude adjustment. I had to realize all the things that I was grateful for. It forced me to stop feeling sorry for myself, just because everything wasn’t exactly the way that I thought it should be. There are things in my life, good and bad, that I do still have the opportunity to get up and face again. After I had looked into the eyes of the deceased, I cursed and did the moon-walk. They couldn’t get up. I wanted them to. It cut my heart. I pushed the air away from me. I was shaking and felt a little dizzy. I had to apologize to the wonderful man that gave me that opportunity. He assured me that the position wasn’t for everyone.

My fiancé got a kick out of the whole result of my dorky unicorn ad. It was a far cry from: puppy cuddling, hearts, rainbows and ice cream. He also gave me props for jumping in head first.

Sheesh…