Really, they aren’t. Thus starts my spinneth…
We all have them. I think there are gauges that are built into our minds. They develop with us. We use personal experiences and life as we know it, and fine tune them as we go. No two in the world are exactly the same. They affect everyone that we interact with. They affect the way that we see ourselves.
Does it sound fair, if we use the same tool to measure all people, when everyone starts with different raw materials? Everyone sees their world differently. Everyone has different strengths, weaknesses, gifts and dreams. People are at different levels of growth in their lives.
Some people we encounter do not meet our expectations. Others exceed them. Sometimes people that disappoint us don’t even realize that they are missing the mark. In our book that is. Have you ever innocently stuck your foot in your mouth and felt badly? Maybe forgetfulness got the best of you? Maybe a gesture made was acceptable to the inner circle of familiarity, but was hurtful to someone else? Sometimes our actions don’t reflect our heart’s intentions.
Do you ever beat yourself up? Sometimes I do. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the marks that you know you are missing? Marks set by family, friends, strangers, religion or even the media? A silly jingle that someone thought sounded catchy, after one cup of coffee at 3 o’clock in the morning?
We are inundated daily with who we are supposed to be. What we are allowed to think. What we are allowed to say. What people of our culture are allowed to do. How our race is supposed to act. The expectations set on our gender, or age. Stereotypes that may seem relevant to us for whatever reason, that are offered by others that have never walked a day in our shoes. People that have no idea where we are from or how far we’ve come. Does it ever annoy anyone else to feel like you are being suffocated and marginalized?
If we asked twenty strangers in a room, how they thought we could improve our life; I am sure that all involved would give a different opinion.
I think there is a point in everyone’s life where they have to learn to follow their own heart.
So let’s say that there was a young man that was born into a family of poverty. He put just as much effort to be in that family, that an heir put in to enjoy all of life’s pleasures and comforts. He is surrounded by media that only confirms to him, all that he is or is not. As he treks along, he encounters finger pointers that echo the same sentiments. He doesn’t have much purpose or hope beyond that. The wrong gauge is used to determine his value.
Sometimes he cannot fall asleep, because of hunger pangs. He is guilty. He is not good enough. If he was, he wouldn’t be there to begin with. Other people point out his situation, the situation that no one is more intimate with than himself or God. They confirm all of his hopeless thoughts. What should this man do? Off himself? Jump on his left foot, while patting his head rapidly in a pink tutu, because some guy named Bob told him so?
Keep trying harder and turn on selective hearing IMO. Especially to the passer-byers that only notice the negative angles, the places where he doesn’t quite make the mark. The well intenders that feel it is their duty to notify him of his shortcomings, for the umpteenth time. The ones that could have good intentions, but ultimately discourage him from trying harder at life, instead of encourage him. Especially when, he has already progressed in his world, well beyond his starting point. What two people have identical journeys? Where is growth’s magical measuring stick?
Why Love is Important
I don’t think love measures others based off of its accomplishments. I don’t think love takes one look on the outside, and becomes an expert to the rich history, future and progress of a person on the inside.
I think it takes a special bond or relationship with someone, to make “help” affective. To shed light in a way, that would encourage someone to do better or do right. Especially after, each started their journey with a different tool set.
I think if people truly love others, they would stick around for the ride. Not just offer a finger, based on their own expectations or experience level, while expecting someone else’s life, situations and perceptions to magically line up.
You know, just because they said so? Say so is just a mass of voices that smacks everyone in the face when they get out of bed. I think when people really love someone; their voice becomes louder and more affective, than the great seas of varied expectations.
Just my shade o gravy…